Hi I’m Joseph, and I make experiences people love

I’m the email strategist for leaders like Lukas Resheske … Writer for The Guardian Academyhome to Joe Polish, Dr. Jeff Spencer, Andre Norman, Dan John, Laurel Portié, and many other purpose driven leadersNew Email Masters Tzar and Creator of AI Email MastersCreator of The Inevitable Email System – foundation to multi-million dollar businesses … publisher of Extracted Magazine …

And forever a student on the Path of Mastery.

Sign up to enter ‘The Simulation’ – if you pass the trials within, you’ll get my daily email tips, ideas, and stories surrounding the life of a (copy)writer and marketing strategist.

What? Oh … Hi, …

You decided to scroll down it seems …

Let’s see … I have some notes here.

Ah,

Yes.

Here they are

GET READY FOR THE GREATEST PITCH OF YOUR LIFE

Hmm. No that doesn’t sound right.

Ahh,

Here’s the right page.

GET READY TO BE CONVINCED TO GTF OUT OF HERE!

Hmm …

That doesn’t sound right either.

Nevermind these notes.

Let’s talk.

Since you’re still reading, you likely want to know who the hell I am and why you should listen to me.

I’m not going to tell you why you should listen to me.

For one, I don’t like to try to convince people to do things.

For two, I only want to talk with people who get my vibe – so … prepare to GET WEIRD.

That might sound really strange coming from “a copywriter.”

(I’m not really “a copywriter” either, the same way an architect is not really “a carpenter” … but more on that if you join me)

What I love doing is helping people who are ready to climb the mountain.

That Thing No One Else Wants to Tell You

“How to write emails that really sell”

“Fifteen email secrets from 14 of the world’s top copywriters”

“Fast-track your copywriting success with this little known secret”

“The reason you didn’t get that project? Your copy sucks!”

“5 tried and proven kick-butt tips to help you land your ideal copywriting client”

“91% SPECIAL DISCOUNT – 1 year of coaching to get the life you want!”

“The ‘J.I.E’ method for writing better copy”

“Overwhelmed by researching and writing copy? Frustrated by the slow, tedious process? What if there’s a way to do all that work without the work!”

“$10k per month fully guaranteed”

“I’ve grown a Linkedin following of over 300k and made millions of dollars. Now I’m revealing exactly how I did it and how you can too!”

“How to use copywriting to make millions”

“The ONLY way to stand out as a copywriter in a crowded marketplace”

I could go on. Each of those is taken from a copywriting focused promo.

It’s the kind of stuff that really sucks you in when you’re starting off trying to figure out how to make a career and a living as a copywriter, a marketer, a freelancer, etc.

It’s all lies and manipulation to get you to give them money,

No one cares when you fall from the peak of Mount Stupid and become trapped in the Valley of Despair.

Oops.

I said the quiet thing out loud.

That’s the reality we live in.

Most advice / guidance / information about copywriting, entrepreneurship, business building is aimed at people who are either starting to climb or are reaching the peak of Mount Stupid.

That’s that first little mountain on the Dunning-Kruger curve.

Where you start getting good at something, you don’t know very much at all, but you don’t realize you don’t know much at all – you get some success and you start to think you’re hot shit…

Then you suddenly realize you don’t know anything at all and you fall down into the valley.

Those of us who are NOT completely full of ourselves tend to think we’re the problem.

“Maybe I’m not good enough for this”

“Maybe I don’t have what it takes to be a copywriter”

“Everyone else is doing way better than I am, I must be in the wrong place”

That’s when the real climb begins.

All that manipulation is aimed at new hungry desperate people who think they are going to strike gold so they’ll spend anything to get at the tools and tactics they think are going to give them what they desire.

That’s not how life works.

Not in the long run anyway.

So what am I doing here?

I’ve walked that path.

I’ve also helped people just like you who’ve gone through all the shit, collapsed into the Valley of Despair, and are ready for the real work.

If that’s you,

Maybe I can help.

But here’s the thing,

I’m not going to try to convince you to join my email list.

HOWEVER

I am going to share some of the cool things I’ve done,

And show you the people who love what I do

And tease the experience you could be having.

But seriously.

I’m not going to try to convince you.

In fact.

I’m going to try to convince you to NOT join my list.

DON’T JOIN MY EMAIL LIST

There.

I told you not to.

What are you doing?

Why are you still reading?

No

DON’T CLICK THAT LINK AND PUT IN YOUR EMAIL

STOP

TURN AROUND

You’ll get sucked into The Simulation,

It’s going to be a real strange experience, and you’ll come out of it thinking “what the hell have I been doing with my life?”

Don’t do it.

You don’t want my daily emails about working as a freelance (copy)writer. They’re all just weird fun little windows into my life and my brain. And who wants that really?

Seriously though …

I’m going to try to convince you not to join.

Because if you aren’t ready to actually do work and make a real life for yourself, if you’re just chasing shortcuts and want the easy “one funnel” that’s going to make all the pain go away and answer all your prayers …

I don’t want you here.

You’re here too soon. You still need to climb up and fall from Mount Stupid.

That’s ok.

Let me show you some more things that may convince you to not join my email list.

These people like what I do.

And aren’t they all a little crazy?

You’re still reading?

Fine.

I’ll tell you how I got to be the way I am today.

I definitely didn’t take the route most people do with copywriting. I started off despartely trying NOT to be a copywriter.

I didn’t like the swindling. The exploitation. THe manipulation.

I thought “ew copywriter gross.”

And instead decided to build a magazine all about Coffee …

Which I ended up writing all the copy for.

(Shocking I know)

There I am, Coffee conventioning it up

Most people won’t tell you this because they want you to think “copywriter” is a position and a skill reserved for people who’ve walked through the gauntlet of the hallowed greats

The best “copywriters” in the world you’ve never heard of, and probably never will hear of. Because they don’t think of themsleves as “copywriters.” They just happen to be people who are really good at communicating to their audience for their business.

And that’s all copywriting is. Communication.

I know I know.

Put down your pitchforks.

Stop pretending this craft is exclusively the skill of a few tired old men who turned words into hundreds of millions or billions of dollars.

Cliche please.

The real challenge of “a copywriter”, as you are probably thinking a freelance copywriter, a working copywriter, is developing the skill of communicating well no matter what or who’s business you are in.

It’s one thing to be the master of writing to the prospects and customers of artisanal bamboo bicycles, it’s another to be able to do the same for a local baker, a financial advisor, an electrician, a coach, a course, a chain of grocery stores, blah blah blah

I wax on

So here’s the thing.

I published this magazine all about coffee for about 8 years.

In that time I ran into one André Chaperon, learned email marketing the ARM way, and adopted the concepts he taught, for my business.

I applied The Ask Method after being a part of Next Level Mastermind, and ran a really fun quiz that completely rebuilt my business after Apple tanked me in the app store, ultimately having hundreds of thousands of readers around the world.

I thought I was doing it all, top of the world, king of all that I surveyed.

I was on a mountain.

Mount Stupid.

The fall was not graceful. Covid was the last nail in the coffin.

But I picked myself back up and ultimately said “it’s time to actually work.”

DIDN’T THINK YOU WERE GONNA READ A FALL FROM GRACE STORY DID YOU?

And what’s that?

A copywriter being vulnerable?

Saints alive I do believe we’re gonna hit on some TRUTH on this here page.

Everyone who has ever done ANYTHING worthwhile has fucked something up in their time and lost it.

Humans are really good at doing that.

The only way to not mess it up completely is to have perfect systems in your life. And unfortunately, it takes a lot of loss and failure to figure out those systems.

And then, even when you have great systems …

You are still human.

Surprising I know.

We all constantly stray and fight with the “ideal” (whatever that is). And like meditation, the goal isn’t to be perfect …

It’s to simply become better at making good choices.

In Comes The Guardian Academy …

Where I write and received such praise as:

“This is on the Mount Rushmore of success statements”

“It brought up a lot of emotions for me”

“🔥”

“Great piece of writing here”

“Absolute banger!”

“Masterful”

“Absolutely lovely”

It’s in The Guardian Academy that I’ve honed my Philosophies and Principles which allow me to create inevitable and certain outcomes.

“The Inevitable Email System” I have developed is really quite simple – it’s a Principled implementation of Email Strategy which produces inevitable results.

Think it’s not possible to have certainty of a strategic marketing outcome?

Well, if you join my little world, I’ll show you in time what that looks like.

(If you think I’m full of shit, feel free to leave this page)

In the time since I embraced the path to mastery in copywriting, I’ve climbed out of that valley of despair and have carved a fine little path for myself.

I’m not a big name, and I don’t want to be.

Another shocker for someone in my position – but you don’t need to be a big name to have the life you desire.

I want to do cool shit, help others, and make an awesome life for myself and my family.

So now here I am.

All the way past the Valley of Despair that comes after Mount Stupid.

If you’ve suffered enough,

It’s likely your not far behind where I am.

I tell you what,

If you’ve gone through all that up above, and you’re still here …

(btw, if you aren’t still here, how the hell are you reading this? ARE YOU A WIZARD????)

I have one simple offer for you.

Enter my simulation.

I’ve crafted for you a simulation of all the challenges and bullshit you and everyone else has to face in the world of copywriting and marketing as a freelancer.

If you can survive the simulation,

Get through each level,

And come out on the other end wanting more …

Then I suppose you’re ready.

If you don’t survive?

Well,

I tried to convince you not to join …